I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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