You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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