I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize