i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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