let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
