By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
