he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
