You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
