one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
