I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
