She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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