She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
