There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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