Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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