my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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