i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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