i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
