Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
