I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
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