oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
