Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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