Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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