this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
