those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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