Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
