My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
