tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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