So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
