We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
