just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
