i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
