I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Please don't give away my fajitas
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
