I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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