theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
