im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
