one two three fourrrrnication!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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