im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
