I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
