Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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