Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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