Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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