So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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