The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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