How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
