ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize