So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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