it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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