DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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