So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize