he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
