the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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