Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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