I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
