just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
