So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you had me at cake vodka
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
