Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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