So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
