I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
