I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You can't motorboat a personality
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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