I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
