id be glad to
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
