I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize