You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We left an ass print on the piano.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
