If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he fucked my hip out of place.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You're a waste of cheezeits
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
