saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
