remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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