Just fell off a train. Bad.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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