Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
