you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
